An absent parent is often viewed as someone who has appeared to abandon their child. They may not live with the child or make an effort to see or bond with their child for several months or years. Dr. Kavita here discusses a case of a lady presenting with secondary infertility. Her background showed that she had suffered the neglect of her mother in childhood. Approaching the case considering the Absent Mother Syndrome gave beautiful result.
A 36 years old lady, consulted me on skype at 8th January 2020 for secondary sterility since 7 years. She aborted first child when she was 23 years old and felt a great mental trauma with guilt. Later on after 6 years she conceived but the pregnancy had been terminated as it was a case of intra uterine growth retardation. There was a H/O uterine polyp (9mmx8mm) few years back.
Sense of collapse, low energy after waking up in morning, weakness during coition. Lost spontaneity, cough after coition. She feels that due to this cough the sperms go out; she cannot retain it. Unsatisfied. Irresolution. Fastidious. Lot of anxiety. Worried about her husband's health. She wants a child and career. She is a Homeopath, opened a new clinic recently; wants to prove herself perfect in work and home. To show her importance she wants to do some different work; always under pressure of performance. (Wants Goody Boy Image)
Fear what people will talk about her. There is lack of initiation. Jealousy and competition feeling. When her husband's sister delivered a child, she felt jealous.
When second pregnancy had been terminated due to IUGR, she felt that she got punishment as she induced abortion few years back.
Menses irregular; once in 3-4 months. Sadness and irritability before menses.
Dreams- Sexual act, young girls and female organs, Snakes.
As a child she has always been dominated and offended by mother. Mother used to neglect her; she never guided her about beauty maintenance, hormonal changes at puberty and about sex. Father was alcoholic. (Both the parents were busy in fighting and brooding.) She was a silent and introverted but jealous child. She could never share her feelings/fears with her mother. There was a delusion that an alien will come and see her womb; she will never be a mother.
Prescription- 9th January 2020 XXXX 200 one dose.
By 24th January, she wrote me a mail- 'I have my menses today and for the first time in my life I experienced- a big thumb size clot which looked like liver came out from my vagina; surprisingly no pain during menses and there were no ulcers in my mouth which I used to get before menses every month.'
What is this case about?
Before I began to look at rubrics I wanted to have a deep understanding of the case.
- As a child she has always been dominated and offended by mother.
- Father was alcoholic.
- She was a silent and introverted but jealous child.
- There was a delusion that an alien will come and see her womb; she will never be a mother.
- starving for the love and caring that she did not experience.
- She grows up never leaving the child-like state of an infant needing love and nourishment from her mother.
- She carries a constant feeling of failure and self-reproach.
- She wants her own child as soon as possible .( compensation mechanism)
- She is always under the pressure of performance to prove her importance.
- She never got the love and caring from mother. There is seeking for good relations. The long term domination by mother made her punctual, insecured and introverted. There is sense of guilt as she aborted child twice. The whole theme of the case, her dreams and her thought process is revolving around uterus, the organ of motherhood!
- In analyzing the totality, we look at the aetiology, pathology, traumas, dreams, delusions, generals, etc. The patient's exact language and keywords are an outer expression of the inner state of the vital force. Her words were-Sense of collapse; low spontaneity, weakness of mind and body, mental trauma after induced abortion and harsh behaviour of mother since childhood which made her introverted.
ESSENCE OF THE CASE
- The pressure of performance,
- Seeking of family love,
- Guilt and sense of infulfillment
- Crazy for motherhood/ desire for child
- Image consciousness
- Miasm- Psora Syphilis
I needed a remedy that should cover her mental plane, provide her physical and emotional strength, consider her psora syphilitic background and must act on uterus…and here came up Aurum mur nitronitrum. It has the fastidiousness of aurum; weakness and desire for harmony in relations of Muriaticum; introvertedness of Natrum. Chemically after splitting aurum mur nitronitrum we get hydrochloric acid i. e. Muriaticum acid, which has a tremendous fear of failure and anxiety about death or disease of mother or family.
This remedy is about the splitting up of relationships or the desperate need to hold onto relationships, especially the relationship of mother and child.
I prescribed this remedy as there was H/O long term parental control and irresolution.
IUGR and her dreams of perverted sex shows the syphilitic background as well as guilt that God punished her by giving IUGR in second pregnancy as she aborted the first child. To overcome the guilt of abortion and to overcome the fear of not being mother; to satisfy her infulfillment – she wants child.
DIAGNOSIS AS PER HOMEOPATHIC APPROACH
ABSENT MOTHER SYNDROME
An absent parent is often viewed as someone who has appeared to abandon their child. They may not live with the child or make an effort to see or bond with their child for several months or years.
If children do not receive normal love and care, they cannot develop this close bond. This may result in a condition called attachment disorder. It usually happens to babies and children who have been neglected or abused, or who are in care or separated from their parents for some reason.
To confirm the remedy from Materia Medica, I looked into the following rubrics.
Natrum Mur and Aurum met came up.
Aumur Mur Nitronitrum is at 22nd position. When I combined these 3 symptoms,Aurum Mur Niytronitrum stood on 7th position.
To confirm the remedy from Organon, I restricted my search tillmiasms in Radar Software.In the following chart 7th number is showing Tubercular miasm which ultimately a combo of psora- syphilis.
For final confirmation, I again looked into Repertory and found Aurum Mur Nitronitrum is the only remedy when there are ailments after death of mother. In this case there was a feeling of constant absence of mother; though she was there feasibly but her existence for the patient was zero.
Later on in the course of treatment I prescribed her sepia in March 2020 as per the need of symptoms and Lac Humanumin June 2020 as a sarcode and matridonal remedy; which balances the state of organs and help them to function properly.
Sepia, like other sea remedies, is strongly Family oriented person.
Sepia respects her femininity a lot! It is the best remedy for hormonal imbalancing.
After Sepia,She wrote a mail-'My menses become regular, painless. They appeared at 16th march,12th April and 8th May. I feel energy in morng; waking up without alarm,Anxiety less; mentally stable.I can organize my work.'
- Wants to do important work
- Lonely,rejected,empty feeling.
- Family oriented
- Seeking power to control herself along with repentance.
- Irritability,lack of initiation.
- Feeling of being seen. Being neglected.
- Need for appreciation.
- Relationship is important.
- Strong maternal instinct-because mother provides nourishment through breast milk; guides and nutures the kid upto a certain age.
Her mail after Lac Humanum at 23rd july 2020 –'I feel more energetic; I am more connected to my feelings and emotions- I want to put my hand on my chest and it is very soothing to touch my body and my breasts. I am more direct to what I want! Menses appeared on 5thjune and 4thjuly.'
Her menstrual cycle become regural and painless. Hormones balanced. Anxiety reduced.No more feeling of infulfilment;happy and organised at work.Acceptance of reality and development of patience is the outcome.
Every remedy needs confirmation from Materia Medica,Organon,Repertory and Clinical experience.Prescription of such varified remedy, may tranform the lives. Hence we say 'Homeopathy is a science as well an Art.'